Dear Ms. Heidi,
It's almost August and school days are around the corner. What is a good way to reestablish bedtimes and get us back in a school time rhythm?
With a few more weeks left of summer, there is still plenty of time to enjoy the
longer days and the slower pace of this time of year. Whether you are traveling or staying
home, summer gives us the freedom to move back bedtimes and alter morning routines. Even if
your child is attending camp, these programs are usually more flexible. A summer rhythm often means later mealtimes and more opportunities to let go of time. What happens when August rolls around and your family is 60 to 120 minutes off your school year rhythm? How do you let go of the lovely way you have been ignoring the clock when you know you have to get your child back on an early morning wake up schedule?
My friend and colleague Ms. Jan calls August “turn it around time.” Beginning
the process of getting back to your school year rhythm, or “turning it around” doesn’t
have to lead to tears (yours or your child’s) if you do it gradually. Figure out how many
minutes you need to shift bedtime back and spread it out over two weeks. If you need to
move bedtime an hour earlier, try shifting it just 15 minutes earlier for a few days, and
then shift another 15 minutes for a few days until you have reached your target bedtime.
The more time you give yourself to make the shift happen, the more gradually you can
allow the process to change.
Don’t forget that to support a return to an earlier bedtime, you also must shift
bedtime rituals, washing up, dinner, and even afternoon snack time and activities. Make
sure, your child’s bedroom is tidy and that toys are put away and “resting” for the night.
Is their bed turned down invitingly, with a soft lamp throwing sleepy shadows around the
room? Do you know where the bedtime chapter book or story books are? Perhaps you
or your child can begin the habit of getting their room ready, complete with book choices
and pajamas laid out on a turned down bed before dinner.
Once your child’s bedtime rhythm is re-established, you can start honing your
morning rhythm. How long does it take your household to peacefully start their day and
leave for school? Packing lunches and filling water bottles the night before; setting the
breakfast table; laying out school or work clothes; and making sure shoes and the next
day’s supplies (fruits or vegetables for your child’s class, parent’s briefcases or work
materials) are beside the door; can make getting out of the house smoother for
everyone. Once in the car, sometimes it helps to take a deep breath together and
“preview” what everyone is expecting for the day. Will it be a bread day at school or is it a
painting day? Will Mama have a special work meeting during lunch? Will Daddy pick up
from school or is it Grandpa’s turn? Are there any play dates or after school errands to
look forward to? This practice of previewing the day is especially reassuring for anxious
individuals and can also lead to the practice of “reviewing” the day at dinner or at
bedtime. It supports a feeling of family togetherness, even as you are preparing to head
off in different directions.
May your last days of summer be carefree. May your “turn it around time” be
smooth as you find your way back to the nourishing rhythm that supports everyone in
your family.
Don’t forget to send any questions or concerns you have to
askmsheidi@waldorfnola.org. I look forward to hearing from you!
See you around school,
Ms. Heidi
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